Posted by: givney42 | August 28, 2010

9 days to go…with trepidation

We have 9 days to go before we take flight to Madrid. All Nigel’s papers have been approved by USDA and vet visits completed. Cash has been exchanged for euros.

I’m anxious for this journey to take place, and hesitate as well. Spoke to my mom today who confirmed that next Thursday she will be restarting chemo again. The light-chain proteins are back. She has just started to feel better, and even made blueberry muffins today. One of the first times since last year where she has had the energy to cook. I dread seeing her strength, energy and memory diminish. I pray that this go around with chemo does not weaken her more than the last. And pray the chemo does not harm her.

I hate leaving her and my dad when they are going through this again. But I also know that my mom does not wish for me to change my plans, and in all honesty..I know I can not change my plans. The whole of this journey is to learn. I’m not sure what all I’ll be learning…but I hope some of it is to heal from this. Loss comes in many levels and lengths…This one is little by little…don’t know which is worse. That which comes quickly…or watching the slow progression. Either way, I’ll be walking…walking for me…walking for my mom.

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Responses

  1. I am very sorry about your mother Kim. Having experience both kinds of losses, I can tell you for me it was the prolonged that was the hardest. To watch someone you love suffer and know that there is nothing you can do except to pray. I will pray for blessings for you on this trip, and since I live on your mom’s side of the water, if there is anything I can for you, for her while you are gone let me know.


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